I feel happy and crappy and gaye!!!
I thought I liked my internet
(It’s often pretty fast)
But then (upon my birthday)
The connection would not last!
I was in the Ruby Sanctum
Healing up the tank
Then found I was Air Walking
And “online” light was blank
So I rang up my supplier
(The Indian accent’s thick)
Who’s cheek to “check my wire”
Went down like a brick
Then the blinking light came on
Hullah! Huzzar! Hullay!
But then I knew ’twas something wrong
I’d been kicked from the raid…
This went on all evening
Violet Hold went well
But when the boss was gleaming
My connection went to hell
Another half an hour’s
Waiting on the line
“Phone back in 2 hours
Our helpdesk is offline”
I turned to Terry Pratchett
(The book, what do you think!)
Took my anger down a ratchet
For it was on the brink
And soon I was a-smiling
And light came back, oh joy!
“Yes” to RS10 I’m typing
But it’s only fate’s bad ploy
Time to give it up, I thought
As hour is getting late
Work is hard, I’m overwrought
Too much on my plate!!
Still again this morning
The connection isn’t there
Suspicious thoughts are dawning
I sink into despair
But oh, I find this evening
They failed to kill the boss
And secretly I’m gleaming
Those wipes were not a loss…
So Virgin, if you’re listening
Please bring your service back
“Fast” loses all it’s glistening
When your lines are crap
And now my bed is calling
So I’ll wish you all adieu
This poetry’s appalling
So read it, why, did you?
(you asked for a totally justified rant … and got it … heh heh heh …)
So there I was in Dalaran City;
The town of mages, looking ever so pretty.
“Hey, why not make a raid, a pug;
It can’t be THAT bad,” I thought with a smug
“Link achievement” I said. “Your skillscore and class”
“LULWUT,” some replied. “INV ME PLOX I’M VERY BADASS!”
Kingslayers and alts, the raid quickly was full
After a whole hour of waiting, how very dull.
To the Trial of the Crusader we went, 25 man
“Now listen up,” I said. “This is the plan:”
People listened, but did I make my point?
“This is a complete run; it’s why you joined!”
“I’m not DPS,” a shaman cried. “I want to heal.”
“You told me you were dps. Is this for real?!”
“Let’s start the fight,” the impatient people said.
Oh, forming this pug, I already regret.
The first encounter we downed; twas easy to boot.
But then started the issues, with handing out loot.
“I hate you all; I’m out if you don’t give me that!”
And so he left, the very first twat.
The second encounter, Jaraxxus, was quick.
“HA! I got the weekly done!” said the prick.
Five people left, chaos began.
“This is the raidleader’s fault,” cried one man.
“I don’t have time for more,” a mage said.
“I too joined for the weekly!” Then he ported and fled.
“Stupid retards,” the raid argued in vain.
Alas, why do pugs have to be so lame?
“Ha, I force a D/c,” said a tank.
“No need to give up; This instance we can spank.”
I calmed them down, set aside the shame.
“For surely, the leavers are to blame!”
The faction encounter began, boldly we fought;
Against the scripted might of the NPC Horde.
“Target the healers! Don’t split DPS!”
“I’ll force a D/C!” thought a warlock and left.
“Everyone res, now on to the twins.”
Bold words, but now the real mess begins.
“You stupid hunters, why did you MD me?”
Two DPS cried, simultaneously.
“I thought you were the new tank,” a hunter excused.
“Fuck you all, I’m leaving you noobs!”
Of our twenty-five man, sixteen had chosen to stay.
Including a tank, now pretending to be away.
“I’ll leave,” the best healer said. “But good luck.”
“Raid is over then,” I sighed. “Who gives a phuck.”
Now whispers were flooding, insults of course.
“YOU WASTED MY TIME; FEEL MY REMORSE!”
Moans and whines, but what could I have done?
I know, a raid with leavers, is hardly any fun.
Not my fault though, but a lesson well learned.
“Never lead a raid; in hope of a drop I yearned.”
The sad part is, that this is all completely true… >_<
i was in a fearsome duel with a friend and i lagged and lost *cry* (actually i lost because i couldn’t win..but he doesn’t have to know that)
To Erthold of Frostmane – a Haiku
So you thought it was
Acceptable to leave us
To die on a boss?
(He did, we didn’t)
I lol’d at the “dark poems”
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
One was blind and the other couldn’t see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout “hooray!”
A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don’t believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man; he saw it too!
Sometimes in RL
I am crying, my heart is breaking
Together we will no more play
Anilmaldor and co in statis
It’s separate WoW in the USA
Yes there’s Skype so I can see you
But I’ll miss your morning hugs
Miss you playing on your x-box
While I’m running random PuGs
As for WoW, well, I’ll keep playing
Distract me daily from the loss
Concentrate 1, 2, 2, 4, 5
Defer my feelings, kill the boss
So mothers note it’s not for ever
Sometimes it’s best to let them go
Yes it hurts, and you will feel it
But they will love you, even so…
Yep, that char powning you in the DPS* may not only BE someone’s mum, but an UPSET someone’s mum…
All my love J (he reads this too).
*well, not on this char – she’s only there to herb & skin, and runs PuGs to level up, is spec’d marksman but geared for Survival & BM LOL
Your damage is low
though the others do not see
yet you roll so much!
It was a shocker,
A real surprise you’ll see.
when I found my best mate’s girlfriend,
was a man called Lee!
lots of horde were at the exodar it was like 70 of them and orc want tduel me
i was a night elf and an orc want to duel me lol
i ran out of ale, will any ye’ be kind onouf te get sum more fer meh?
In a dungeon,
Doing so well.
Last boss to go,
We started the attack.
Clock stuck 12,
I forgot that it was a Monday,
But hey I was enjoying it.
Parental controls can on,
And I was kicked off.
Now everyone in guild hates me,
As they all died.
Soz, two spelling/ grammer mistakes are in it. It’s ‘came on’ not can on (9th line) and second to last line it’s Now everyone in ‘the’ guild hates me. It’s not meant to rhyme. Hope it’s an alright standard compared to the others. It is true aswell.
Once in a inn
I tried my best
Avoid the tin
But then it blew
For nothing there was
But something I do
A worgen rogue
Screamed and screamed
At my best friend
Angsty it seemed
In anger I shout
He was not right
I said stout
The worgen rogue
Whined and whined
In crysis I wear my brogue
He called me an idiot
I wanted to slap
The player moaned
Didn’t want to stop
Then I roamed
Across the top
My friend didn’t grin
I wanted to go
But I could not
Left him aside
But I’m reported
I reported that player
I wanted to be comforted
But that fight is in my mind
Cruel it wasn’t
On my own rhyme
Spamming bots who spam.
Spam is so irritating.
Stop spamming. NA-O!
Yay the Emoooooooo corners back. <3
Remember to express yourself with a poem.
Otherwise we will send a Gnoem.
To haunt you.
And taunt you.
And fill your boots with foam.
Old one from Faceroll. I wonder if the sad cow deserves his own brief intermission in the comics. Nah.
Last Raid Night
I organised a raid to-day.
Cos I thought it be ea-sy
Got some randomers to join
They thought they would get them some coins
Some said “this should be fun”
The others thought it be a pun.
First it went all ok
But then some idiots said “yeah hey
I just wanted a daily,
But now I’m gonna go…”
Oh no, now the healer said, she’ll be back in a mo…
Why did I think it be easy…
Mages running in dismay,
Hunters being really gay,
The Healers gone… A-F-K!
Oh god, it got worst…
Fires falling to the earth,
The palas gone using a hearth,
Mobs are using… poly-morph
But it went on …
Just to get worse…
But it went on …
Just to get worse
The healer didn’t return
And we were really feelin the burn
Dwarfs are drinkin ginger ale
This raid’s become an epic fail
But it went… on
Just to get worse…
But it went… on
Just to get worse
And we all died…
And I /cry’ed
I know I should be sleepin’
Instead I’m softly weepin’
As I see the treasure droppin’
An’ loot whores they’re not stoppin’
To think what they are doin’
So many now are ruein’
They start off by complainin’
Then they stop their gamin’
So with who will whores be playin’
When everybody’s sayin’
“If you won’t play nice, I won’t play at all”
The above fortunately hasn’t happened to me, but sums up some of the zeitgeist on the forums of late. Too many taking loot they don’t need. To many finding the community spirit gone downhill and leaving the game completely as a result. People who fail in remembering there are other people who sit behind the other 24 keyboards. People who fail at the game of getting along with other people – something employers often seek and then undermine by taking more of the loot for themselves. *end of social media commentary*
I wonder if the next MMO that Blizzard has in store, will follow the same trend.
World of Workcraft, perchance?
*Posts link separately for moderation*
Wow, can’t belive I missed all the poems here for 2 years!
Ok, let me think of something…
The Teldrassil stands high and strong
But it won’t be for so long
For it’s actually a stump
From which night elves throw their dump.
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